


Let's Hurt Tonight

by ClairvoyantDreamer1011



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Author is very salty, CoLu bromance, F/M, Father Figures, Happy Ending, Maybe - Freeform, My poor babies, Nalu - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Tartaros Arc (Fairy Tail), Self-Doubt, Sorry Not Sorry, author sucks at tags, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 17:33:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11810859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClairvoyantDreamer1011/pseuds/ClairvoyantDreamer1011
Summary: An image of Natsu straddling Lisanna's hips flashes in Lucy's mind and her heart constricts so much that it hurts to breathe. Two years ago, he had left her with nothing but a note. This time, though, there will be no note from her...only the softest goodbye as she takes that final step onto the midnight train.[Canon-based Alternate Ending]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N : This story will be a canon-verse AU where the War is over, and Fairy Tail has won and reformed with a few additional members. Some characters may seem to be a tad OOC but please, bear with me. :)

_**Tap**_ , ** _tap_**. Her fingers danced nimbly across the counter top.

_'I'm sorry, Lucy, your mother died last night. Master Jude has requested that you keep yourself locked in your room until the funeral.'_

_'Not now, Lucy, can't you see I'm busy? Go back to your room at once.'_

_'Your insufficiency at being a proper lady is disgracing our family! Layla would have been so disappointed in you!'_

**_Tap._ **

_'Damn, that blonde bitch sure has a nice rack, eh? Hey, girlie! Wanna have some fun with us?'_

_'Lucy who? You mean that weak newbie Natsu adopted?'_

_'And Lucy Heartfilia is down! This match goes to Raven Tail's Flare! Looks like the Celestial Mage wasn't strong enough to complete her spell!'_

**_Tap. Tap._ **

_'You've been gone for seven years, Miss Lucy, I'm so sorry to tell you that your father had died a month before your return.'_

_'Hey Luce, Lis and I are going on this mission tomorrow! There have been reports about this huge, fire-breathing demon, so of course I'll have to fight it!'_

_'Why would you think you're coming with us? It's somewhere on top of a mountain and you always whine about how tired you are! Plus, I haven't seen Lis in years! We can take another mission next month, yeah?'_

_**Tap.** _

_'You have to break my key, Lucy.'_

_'How long are you going to keep acting like a spoiled brat! You're the only one who could save your friends! So stop being a baby and do it!'_

_**Thud.**_ The wood begins to crack and the surface of the counter starts to splinter. Blood stains the wood but her fingers continue tapping, unperturbed, unfazed.

_'Goodbye, Lucy, I'm going to miss you.'_

_'Yo Luce! Me and Happy are gonna go train for a year! Promise to take care of the guild for me, yeah?'_

_'Fairy Tail is officially disbanded. It is time to spread your wings, my children.'_

**_Crack._** She doesn't know if that is the sound of the wood finally cracking or the distant echo of a key breaking.

_She wonder vaguely if - perhaps - the sound was coming from **her**. A small, vital piece of her that's cracking and cracking and  **cracking**  and yet nobody notices. She doesn't mind. She's used to the silence. She tells herself she is fine._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_But a part of her whispers, **help**._

* * *

Lucy stares at the wood of the counter top, her eyes burning with emotions she couldn't name. Her slightly bloody fingers traces the familiar pattern of the surface of the counter as the dark memories she had buried in the deepest recesses of her mind resurfaces and plagues her all over again. The noises of the on-going brawl behind her and the concerned stare of a certain barmaid goes unnoticed by the blonde.

_'A new key has been born again. It's somewhere on Earthland. But don't expect me to tell you where it is.'_

Natsu told her that he had things he wanted to do the moment the war with Alvarez was over and done with. He had said it with the brightest grin on his face and Lucy couldn't help but smile back.

She didn't tell him that she had plans too.

Plans that would take her far, far away. Not Crocus, not Bosco and most definitely not Hargeon. Natsu and Gray and Erza will track her down too easily, she thinks. But will they really? Will they really take the time and effort to look for her?

Lisanna's back.

Juvia's alive.

Jellal's free.

They don't need her anymore, do they?

* * *

_'Ah, Natsu, you don't know who Lucy really is, do you, dear brother? And you, Lucy_ Heartfilia, _don't even know that the man you wholeheartedly placed your trust in is the very person who caused your mother's death.'_

Lucy clenches her jaw. She shouldn't blame him. She knows that it wasn't his fault. It wasn't anybody's fault, not her mother's, not Grami's, not Anna's. It was  _her_  fault. Lucy didn't miss the slight bitterness in Aquarius' voice when she told her and Brandish about Layla's illness. The blonde knew at that moment that she was the one who had ultimately killed her mother. To be able to summon all the golden keys at once as well as using her own life force to make up for the missing key...Layla had so much power. It should have weakened her, yes, but not cause her  _death_.

Aquarius said that Layla had always been fragile...physically, not magically. She wouldn't have died because of magic deficiency, Lucy knows her mother is much stronger than that, the only reason Layla Heartfilia died is because childbirth had taken too much from her...

...and given back too little.

(Lucy remembers how awful she was to her mother. She was never an easy child. She was whiny and greedy for affection, and she would scream at her mother often whenever she didn't get her way. Now that she's older, she finally understands why Jude hated her so much in the past. She was an ungrateful, naughty, ill-mannered and absolutely horrendous child, so unlike her beautiful, strong, confident, perfect mother that even Lucy herself can't help but hate the person she sees in the mirror.)

* * *

_'You have great potential, kid. The First told me about what you did in the war and she asked me to help train you. I'll give you some time to think it over first. Your full training will probably take 2 years or more, I guess, so take your time to decide, okay?'_

The moment Zeref had activated E.N.D., all Lucy could remember was the soul-chilling scream that ripped through her. Natsu had been in  _so much pain_. He was screaming and crying and fighting  _so hard_  to stop the monster inside him just so he could protect everyone - just so he could protect  _her -_  and yet all she could do was fucking cry.

_DO SOMETHING!_  her brain had screamed. She had wiped her tears away and stumbled towards her strong, powerful, beautiful Natsu, a watery smile on her lips as she said his name, hoping to wake him up. She  _knew_ Natsu was in there. She  _knew_. But nobody believed her. They said he was E.N.D. but she knew better. He was  _Natsu_. And all he needed was a smack on the head and a smile to fix things.

She was so close to waking him up. Even as those horrible horns and wings started to grow on his body, she could see the light in his dark eyes, fighting to get out of this nightmare. Even when he started to become a monster in front of her eyes, her Natsu was there. He was still with her.

So she reached up and caressed his bruised cheekbone. He blinked and for a second, she swore the demonic markings on his skin faded and glitched. He stared at her in confusion. She smiled back. 'Natsu,' she had whispered, her trembling hand still on his cheek. 'Time to come home.'

His onyx eyes focused on her and suddenly, he was  _back_. She could see it in his eyes, they were  _so bright and Nats-_

Everything went black.

_When the war was over, a Rune Knight found a severed arm on the ground where the final battle took place. The proud mark of the strongest guild in Fiore decorated the back of its hand._

When Lucy woke up, she was lying in the infirmary, her magic depleted and her right arm missing. She screamed when she realized Natsu was in the bed with her. He immediately woke up, a smile ready on his lips as he prepared to greet his favorite girl...only to realize that she was staring at him in horror, her heart racing with fear and her eyes wide in betrayal as her memories of the fight flooded her mind.

He had opened his mouth to say something but Lucy's scream stopped him. She had yelled and cried and begged him to leave her alone while cradling the stub of her missing arm. The dragonslayer obliged, whispering meaningless apologies as she screamed in betrayal.

_She didn't hear the soul-wrenching sobs that racked a dragonslayer's body when he stood outside the infirmary, battle-worn hands tearing at his hair as her cries of pain filled the empty guild. She didn't notice the small ring lying on the mini cabinet beside her bed. She didn't read the letter he spent months working on._

_She didn't hear the 'I love you's whispered to her when she fought her demons at night_ _._

* * *

Lucy's fingers taps the counter even faster as her mind races with her memories. She subconsciously dodges an approaching chair. Mira notices the way she touches her keys, now a mind-blowing total of fifty-five keys, including all of the keys owned by Yukino(the silver-haired mage had decided to quit her career as a mage and travel the world with her sister)as well as the ones gifted to the blonde by the current Queen Hisui.

Mira remembers how Hisui had stormed into Fairy Tail with frantic guards behind her, demanding Lucy to accept the keys owned by the royals of Fiore as a token of appreciation for what the blonde had sacrificed during the Alvarian War. It was the first time Lucy had smiled in days. The guild watched with bated breath when she brushed her fingers over the intricate patterns of the Platinum Keys, all of them hoping to see even the tiniest glimpse of the old, cheery Lucy whom they'd missed so dearly. Mira knew a certain someone had even higher hopes than anyone else in the guild.

Lucy had reached her hand out hesitantly to hold the keys when they suddenly flew around the blonde, forming a glowing circle around her. It was the most breath-taking, ethereal sight Mira had ever seen. Lucy looked like a true goddess of the stars when she started floating upwards with all thirty or so keys encircling her body, glowing with a soft golden hue while emitting a comforting hum. Oh how Mira had cried when she saw the genuine smile on Lucy's face - something she hadn't seen since Lucy woke up to the realization that she was forever crippled.

Lucy had opened up a little more after accepting the Queen's gift, her new spirits succeeding in doing what everyone couldn't. They helped break down her walls faster than anyone in the guild, and piece by piece, everyone could see that Lucy was getting better each day.

(It didn't come as a surprise when they noticed that Erza's signature armor, Natsu's scarf and Gray's chain necklace had mysteriously 'disappeared' a week after they heard Lucy's soft laughter echo in the guild. Their belongings were returned a day later, with a small lacrima containing a private message from the Queen herself.)

But no matter how much her condition has improved, Lucy was no longer the unbreakable Light of Fairy Tail. Lucy was no longer the gentle, affectionate, trusting, naive girl everyone knew; the war had changed her, just like how it changed poor, innocent Wendy, and turned the Celestial Mage into someone else...someone quiet and harsh and unpredictable and  _broken_.

She had shown them that even the brightest of lights can dim and fade away when engulfed in too much darkness.

But Mira is determined not to let that light fade. If only the blonde would let them  _help her_  -

She snaps out of her thoughts when Lucy abruptly stood up. The barmaid watches worriedly as the blonde makes her way to the second floor of the guild before entering Gildarts' office. She - as well as the other S-Class mages, with the exception of Erza - had been informed earlier of Gildarts' proposal to train Lucy for the next S-Class trial. She didn't liked the idea of letting that old fart take her beloved surrogate sister away then and she sure as hell doesn't like the idea now.

But as she watches the brawl that was taking place in the guild, Mira can't help but think that maybe - just  _maybe_  - this is what Lucy needs - an assurance that she  _deserves_  to stand as a proud Fairy Tail mage despite her physical disabilities. And no, she's not claiming that the Celestial Mage is weak. In fact, Mirajane herself knows just how powerful Lucy can be if she's at full force, after witnessing what she did during the final battle.

Being able to purify the most powerful demon ever known in history with a magic she created on the spot...even the invincible _Titania_  herself didn't possess the amount of magical energy and skill needed to perform a spell of that caliber.

Not the mention the fact that Lucy had only _begun_  using her magic as a means of defense  _after_  she had joined Fairy Tail...meaning that the blonde had  _never_  been given proper training to master her magic potential until she was  _seventeen_. And even after she had joined the guild, Lucy never did do much training at all. She was always too busy going on missions with Team Natsu or fighting to survive alongside Fairy Tail.

To think that Lucy had performed a spell that S-Class Mages couldn't when she had barely tapped into her magic potential...Just imagining what the skilled Celestial Mage could do if she was trained under a professional had Mira shuddering. Lucy would be even more of a demon than Erza or herself.

Mira jumps when a hand suddenly lands on her shoulder. She turns around to give the perpetrator a glare, only to sigh when she realizes that it's only Cobra. The barmaid forces a smile on her face as she looks at the guild's newest member. 'Cobra! How can I help yo-'

'Cut the bullshit.' Mira suppresses a scowl, instead she opts for a cold smile, her full lips stretching into a thin line. 'Whatever do you mean, Cobra?' she asks, hoping that the Poison Dragon Slayer won't see through her facade. She knows that it wasn't likely though. Being a Soul-Listener, Cobra is naturally observant, especially when it concerns the people he cares about.

Cobra's single amethyst eye bores into Mira's soul as he growls. 'Don't act innocent. Something's up with Lu and  _you_ ,' he emphasizes, leaning forward until their noses are nearly touching. 'are telling me  _exactly_  what is going on.' Mira glares at him, their lips mere centimeters apart.

Make no mistake, this is not the affectionate touch Natsu shares with his partner; this is not the soft caress Gray shares with Juvia. This is a battle between a monster and a demon. And Mira is determined to live up to her name of the 'She-Demon'.

'Tell. Me.' Cobra hisses, wisps of poison leaking past his gritted teeth.

'Fine,' she sighs, a lie forming on the tip of her tongue. 'Cana's birthday is coming up and Gildarts asked her what present would be suitable for his precious girl, okay?' Mira expects the man to walk away or scoff. But Cobra doesn't move an inch, in fact, his gaze becomes even fiercer.

She gulps almost imperceptibly.  _Mavis, help me_. Everyone knows that the Seis had unofficially adopted Lucy as one of them almost right after joining the guild. She had been the first to accept them into the guild, after all. And from what Mira has heard from Kinana, Lucy had already been in contact with the Seis a few months before they joined the guild. According to the purple-haired barmaid, Lucy had given her old mansion to Crime Sorciere as a permanent place to stay whenever they weren't busy eliminating the remaining dark guilds after Tartaros' defeat.

It may not seem like much, but to the former criminals, Lucy Heartfilia had given them a _home_  - something they've never had the luxury of possessing. Even though every one of the Seis treated Lucy like a little sister (especially after knowing what had happened to her during Tartaros and the Alvarian War), Cobra and Angel - surprisingly - are the most protective of the blonde, although Angel swears on a near daily basis that it was only because her baby sister idolizes the Heartfilia fairy.

After hearing Mira's answer, Cobra spares her one last glance before taking one step back. She lets out a sigh of relief when Cobra backs off. He turns his back on her and starts to walk away.

'You truly are a demon, Mirajane Strauss.'

Mira stiffens when Cobra starts to speak. 'So willing to see your own sister off on a journey that'll take her far, far away from your beloved. I bet you're so relieved, huh? The Lightning Plug does carry quite an obsession with Lu after all, and with her charm and skills, I'd be worried if I were you too. She's beautiful, strong, mysterious, witty and she saved Earthland from Zeref single-handed when all of you were standing on the side, gaping like fucking idiots.' he spits out, his voice laced with venom. Mira trembles as he rips out the darkest secrets she keeps in her heart one by one. And the worst thing was the fact that she couldn't deny any of it.

'I thought you  _Fairies_ ' he hisses. 'were a huge, happy fucking family. First, you lot  _abandon_  her and force her to deal with her shit  _alone_. Then,  _some_  of you go and rip her fucking heart out along with her goddamn arm before leaving her alone again. Just so she could have some 'space'.' Cobra swivels around and begins to walk threateningly towards the paralyzed barmaid. Fury and pain burn in his single amethyst eye as his voice drops to a whisper. 'You didn't even bother to ask her what  _she_  wanted. What if all she wanted was to have someone to fucking  _care_  for her, you  _lowly_ ,  _selfish piece of_ -'

'Erik, that's enough.' Both Mira and Cobra turns around in surprise to face the blonde who'd spoken. Her golden hair frames her face and covers her left eye. Soulful, brown eyes look at them in disappointment.

Cobra backs away from the guilty Take-Over Mage and reaches out to his sister. 'Lu, it's  _not_  enough. I know what's going on and no way in hell am I letting my own sister  _leave_  me for two fucking years-'

Mira watches as Lucy raises her left hand to touch Cobra's cheek, her fingers brushing over the scar on his eye. She wasn't smiling, but Mira could see the clear affection shining in her eyes. 'Five.' she whispers, causing Cobra to pull back in surprise. She tries to smile at him, to reassure the man who had been there for her when  _he_ couldn't. (Mavis knows how much she needs to leave and be stronger if she can barely even  _think_  of his name without breaking down.) 'I'll be gone for five years,  _drotere_.'

Cobra frowns when he hears Lucy slip into the Old Tongue. She has only started using it after forming the contracts with her new spirits. The Platinum Keys were the oldest keys as well as the most ancient form of magic in Fiorian history, so it didn't come as a surprise to him when his little sister started to talk in the Old Tongue in order to converse with her spirits easier. But Lucy only ever speaks in the ancient language with him or anyone else whenever she's troubled.

This piece of information doesn't soothe Cobra's worries.

His frown deepens when he hears her soul but nods all the same when Lucy tugs on his hand.  _'Not here, not now.'_

'Fine, let's go home then.'

The small smile on her face when she hears him refer to her apartment as 'home' causes him to sigh and ruffle her hair. She shakes her head, bids Mira 'farewell' and drags him through the guild. Her smile never falls until they're out of the guild and Cobra thinks that it is odd how she's trying to reassure him with a smile, when she normally hums in her head to calm him.

It was after they walk out the guild doors does Cobra realize that the smile was not meant for him.

Not for the first time, Cobra hears a familiar soul sing in tune to the pain in Lucy's soul. But it is not so much of a song than it is a cry of longing.

_Their love was meant to last forever. She loves him. He loves her._

_It should have been simple. But it wasn't._

_Because she can never sleep in his arms again without doubt lingering in her heart. And he can never look into her eyes without pain and sorrow in his._

* * *

Lucy cries that night as she takes out the photo album Natsu made for her after forming Team Natsu. She puts it carefully into the pack she was going to bring for her trip with Gildarts...only to stop at the last second. Her hand trembles as she places it on her lap and opens it.

She flips the pages, so detailed and so full of memories that her heart  _hurts_  to think of all the time she spent with him. As she glances at the photos of just him and her (the one they took after winning the Grand Magic Games), she can't help thinking that she's going to miss him the most.

Her fingers trace the worn corners of the photo and she takes it out from the album. Lucy slides the photo of the two of them into her bag, promising that she'll come back one day. And when she does, she swears to all 88 constellations as her witness that she'll tell him.

Maybe when she's gone, he'll be able to heal too. Maybe he'll find a way to forgive her for leaving just like how she forgave him. Maybe he'll finally see that she loves him, more than she'll ever be able to love anybody.

A part of her whispers that maybe he'll tell her that he loves her too and he'll laugh and spin her around like those fairy tales she used to read-

An image of Natsu stradling Lisanna's hips as he tickles her mercilessly flashes in the blonde's mind and her heart constricts so much it hurts it hurts  _it hurts._

Another memory of Natsu plagues her and she shuts her eyes, slightly thankful that Erik wasn't here to see her break down again.

_'Why do you think you're coming with us?'_

_'I haven't seen Lis in years!'_

_'Wow, Luce, did you know Lis got so much stronger? She has this awesome Hybrid Take-Over and it's way cooler than that stupid Lion Dress you hav- OW! LEGGO OF MY EAR! LUCE!'_

_'Lucy? What are you doing here? You should stay at home, we can go on a mission when your, um, arm feels better, yeah?'_

_'Oh, um, hi Lucy. I've gotta go.'_

Lucy's brown eyes blink away her tears and she rips the picture of the two of them out of her bag. He doesn't care for her. If he was really her best friend; if he  _ever_  loved her...he would have been standing beside her even after what happened during the War, she tells herself bitterly. She reminds herself once again that she doesn't need anyone; that she is Lucy Hearfilia of Fairy Tail and she'll come back stronger than ever.

She reminds herself that there is no use pining for a man who loves another. Love has taken its toll on her and she is sick of waiting for her dragon. This time, she'll be her own goddamn knight in shining armour.

Her resolve hardens and she shoves her clothes into her bag as fast as she could before rushing out the door. She can't help feel a wave of deja vu as her legs carry her to the train station. This was the very path she took to the station the night Natsu left her. It was the place where she realized that she wasn't as important to her partner as she'd thought.

She shakes her head and continues running to the station. It was nearly midnight and the train would be leaving soon. Gildarts was probably waiting for her already.

As she dashes onto the platform of the train, a cloaked figure catches her eye and she quickly rushes over. She calls his name and waves in greeting. The older mage grins at her and beckons her into the train compartments.

Lucy takes one last look at the place she once called home and smiles softly.

' _Sayonara_ , Fairy Tail.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer : The title of the story is taken from One Republic's song 'Let's Hurt Tonight' which is absolutely amazing. And Fairy Tail is Hiro Mashima's. :)

_(4 years and 3 months ago)_

Gildarts is a monster, Loke notes.

The older mage trains his master relentlessly every day, pushing her to her limits. And nearly every night, the blonde would sport new bruises and cuts on her body as she falls asleep on the cold, hard ground of the forest they were training in.

But Loke can tell that Lucy welcomes the distraction. It helps her push away every lingering thought about a certain dragon slayer. And so far, about eleven months into her training, she hasn't missed home. True, it is odd how she doesn't seem to feel remorse about leaving everyone behind, but then again, they left her first, when they all went their separate ways after Tartaros' defeat. Loke's fists clench as he remembers the period of time where Lucy had become nothing but a ghost of a person - drowning in grief and guilt over Aquarius' sacrifice all alone, without  _no one_  to help her. No one except her spirits.

Oh how Loke had wanted to  _murder_  that stupid, oblivious, good-for-nothing dragon slayer.

But as his eyes focus on his beautiful master who was meditating with her mentor, he can't help but be thankful. Lucy has grown so much stronger, and it has only been such a short time. Loke fights a smile as he remembers how Lucy has started to smile and laugh more often now.

The Alvarian War had broken her and all of Lucy's spirits were worried that their precious owner would never return to the light. But Loke knew better. His Lucy was a fighter. She may break and crumble, but she would never give up.

And he was right.

Look at her. The blonde was sitting in the middle of the forest, wearing only a sports bra and a pair of sweatpants, but oh, how she _glowed_. Her golden locks were tied up in a messy bun and her face was the definition of beauty and serenity. Loke's eyes soften as he takes in the sight of the bruises that decorate his master's porcelain skin. Gildarts was never one to take it easy on others, after all, despite being an experienced, S-Class mage.

(Loke remembers a Lucy who would have once whined and complained about getting the tiniest scar or bruise; a Lucy who would have tried to cover up those scars as much as possible so she wouldn't have to be reminded of her flaws. He looks at the Lucy in front of him now - the Lucy who didn't even  _flinch_  when Gildarts threw a dagger at her and left a huge gash on her leg the night before - and thinks that she has grown so much and he is so, so _proud_.)

The ginger-haired spirit grins as he feels his master's magic pulse in the air. A golden halo surrounds her body as tendrils of her magic extend outwards gracefully. She's the first Celestial Mage to be successfully convert Holder-Type magic to Castor-Type and Loke can't help but feel awed by her once again. It takes a great amount of magical power to be able to focus Holder-Type magic and compress it out of a mage's body to form Castor-Type. But Lucy has proved to be worthy of the challenge, in fact, she had been training it in secret even before the War started.

Although, Loke must admit, her training always ended up with her passed out in exhaustion with little to no improvement. He shakes his head, banishing those thoughts from his head. Her failures in the past matter no more, he reminds himself.

(But, even now, he's still haunted by the memories of her cries as she sought comfort in the emptiness of the bathroom in her old apartment after every failed attempt at mastering the Star Dresses; even now, he can still remember the nights where he is greeted with the sight of Aquarius hunched over the Celestial Mirror, watching her old friend breaking and  _breaking_  through the barriers of the Celestial Plane with the most defeated look Loke has ever seen.)

Lucy Heartfilia has become an even more powerful Celestial Mage than her predecessors - having mastered the Ultimate Magic of the Stars; being able to call out four Zodiacs and two Platinums at once (even though it was only for a period of fifteen minutes); modifying the Star Dress Technique to near perfection and utilizing Celestial Magic as a Castor Magic.

It was unbelievable how much she has progressed.

Loke can tell that the older S-Class mage was impressed too. He could see it in the way Gildarts tries to hide his proud grins every time Lucy manages to land even the tiniest hit on him. And once again, Loke is grateful to the Crash Mage. One of the reasons why Lucy had slowly begun to open up was because of Gildarts. He didn't just become her mentor. He became her confidant, her rock and most importantly, he became a father to the blonde.

Jude Heartfilia was a good man, despite his misgivings. But he was never truly a father to Lucy. Loke recalls the night he found Lucy drunk in her apartment, with empty bottles of sake littered across the table in her living room.

_'Do you llllove me, Loke?' she slurred, her eyes half-shut as the spirit carried her to her room. Loke grinned - oh he was so going to tease her about it the next morning, 'Of course, Princess. You're strong, smart and the bravest person I've ever met. Who wouldn't love you?'_

**_'Then why didn't Daddy love me?'_ **

_Loke stopped so abruptly that Lucy squirmed in his arms. He placed her down gently on her bed and looked at her. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Lucy chuckled and patted his cheek affectionately. 'It's okay, sillllyy. No need to worry 'bout me. I'm a biiiiig girl and Daddy says big girls don't cry-'_

_'You...You really are something, aren't you, Lucy? Crying and drinking all alone on your father's death anniversary and_ you're _trying to comfort_  me _?' Loke growled, angry at the thought of being so useless when the woman he bound his life to needed him the most. 'And just so you know,' he continued, placing his hand on her cheek. 'Just because you're a big girl doesn't mean you can't cry, understand?'_

_Lucy hiccuped and shook her head, gently removing Loke's hand from her cheek. 'Daddy says tears are weakness and I don't wanna be weak. I'm s'posed to be strong, right? Right, Loke? 'Cause t-that's why N-N-Natsu and Happy left me, right? That's why A-A...Aquarius is gone, right?'_

_The last part was so quiet that he almost missed it. He wished he had. Because he never knew that words could cause so much pain to one person. The ginger-haired spirit reached out for the blonde, only to have her pull the covers over her head before mumbling a soft 'Gate of the Lion, Forced Closure'. The next thing he knew, he was back in the Celestial World with Aquarius staring at him with blood-shot eyes._

_'You useless idiot.' She hissed, advancing dangerously towards him, with her urn raised above her head. 'You utterly worthless excuse for a Zodiac! You swore to take care of her!'_

_He could feel the mermaid-spirit's rage and he bowed his head, awaiting his punishment. He deserved this. He had failed them both. The enraged spirit came at him faster and roared at him, 'YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD PROTECT HER!'_

_She stopped a few inches away from him and lowered her urn, tears welling in her eyes as she whispered, 'Y-you promised me that the stupid, little c-crybaby would **move on**.'_

_'She will, Aquarius.' He said, his voice cracking at the end of his sentence. 'She_ will _.'_

_Aquarius looked at him and her lips trembled as she forced herself to echo, 'She will.'_

'-oke! LOKE!'

Loke blinks his eyes and sees Lucy staring at him worriedly. He clears his throat and grins, 'So, you're ready?'

Lucy returns his grin readily and bobs her head, 'Yeah! The old man said so. He told you and Capri to take it easy on me, though.' An indignant yell from Gildarts elicits a small giggle from the blonde and she casually jokes back, 'You're already - what - fifty? You're practically ancient!'

Loke sighs and drags the blonde into the clearing before the two mages could argue any further. The last time they argued about Gildarts' age, it ended with a few (dozen) damaged trees and a couple of injuries as well as a summon from the nearby village to keep the fighting down to a non-destructive minimum.

The spirit looks at his master, happily humming a song under her breath and thinks that he was right. She did move on.

She  _has_  moved on.

(But over whom, Loke is not so sure.)

* * *

_(24 hours ago)_

'Daddy, wake up! Wake up!'

Natsu groans and winces as he feels something jumping on his chest repeatedly. Platinum blond - nearly silver - hair enters his vision and he forces his fogginess away.

Rubbing his arm over his face, the dragon-slayer grunts, 'What do you think you're doing, Keid? It's - ' One look at the time lacrima caused the man to groan loudly. ' - six a.m. on a Saturday. Let Daddy have his sleep.'

But the young boy refuses to give up. He continues to tug at his father, 'No! Today, we need to visit Aunt Lis! You said today was special! We had to make a cake, and go to the flower shop and get her those car-carna-carnivores she loved so much!'

The pink-haired man lets out a deep chuckle. 'Carnations, buddy. Not carnivores.'

Keid huffs and sits on Natsu's chest, a scowl plastered on his face, 'Don't care! But we have to get them for Aunt Lis today! And Uncle Erik said there's gonna be a discount for car-carnitens at the store! So we have.'  _Jump._  'To.'  _Jump_. 'Go.'  _Jump_. 'NOW!'

Natsu sits up and sighs. 'Okay bud, I'm up. Now stop jumping on me before I get suffocated under all that fat of yours.'

Keid jumps off his chest and lands on the ground with a small stumble with a triumphant cheer, before slowly registering his father's words. 'Whaddya mean I'm fat? You're the one who force feeds me all those stinky fish Happy likes!' the six-year-old accuses, his cheeks puffing out in anger.

Natsu laughs and ruffles Keid's head as he passes by him to go to the bathroom. 'Sure, kid. Whatever floats your boat.'

Natsu is still chuckling under his breath when he enters the bathroom. After brushing his teeth, he splashes some water on his face and reaches for his shaving cream. A bit of stubble had started to grow on his face and he knew Lisanna wouldn't like it. Speaking of Lisanna, Natsu chuckles again as he thinks of how similar Keid is to Lis. It was almost uncanny how he gets so easily riled up the moment his weight was taken into accou -

_'Natsu, tell your cat to shut it before I sic Aquarius on him!'_

_'Awwww, but Natsu, she really is fat! Look at all that squishy fat on L-'_

Natsu winces as he touches the fresh wound on his face left by the razor. Blood drips onto the sink, forming a beautiful ruby red swirl to the middle. The colour reminds him of someone. Someone wearing ruby red lipstick and a fancy dress to match. It was probably Lisanna, he insists as he wipes off the blood on his face. But a small part of him wonders as he looks at the red blood smeared on his palm. Since when did Lisanna's light pink lipstick start turning red?

And when has Happy ever told Lisanna that she was fat?

* * *

_(3 years and 8 months ago)_

'So, why did you join Fairy Tail?' she huffs as they're taking their usual, morning jog. They were about 5 miles in and they had another 15 miles to go before Gildarts starts training her on magical stamina. The old fart claims that physical stamina is just as important as magical endurance, but waking up at 4 in the morning and running until her legs were burning almost didn't seem worth the defined thighs she was getting. Almost.

They've been running for some time and as usual, Lucy despises the silence. At first, when Gildarts started training her, she didn't quite mind the stillness of the forest, preferring to immerse herself in the peacefulness of everything rather than conversing. The first few months after...everything, Lucy didn't enjoy speaking anymore. It hurt her to try and convey what she was thinking when all she could think of was how much it hurts  _hurts **hurts**_  to not have her arm...to not have  _Natsu_. But she couldn't possibly tell anyone in the guild about it - not Mira, not Levy, not Erza, not even Natsu. What could they do? Smile awkwardly and try to change the subject like they did after the war ended?

It used to hurt to speak.

It used to.

She thinks that it doesn't hurt as much now.

But looking at Gildarts after she asked the question that's been on her mind since they begun training, she can't help but notice how his face contorts with an emotion so foreign and yet so familiar.

The blond mage watches as Gildarts opens his mouth, words forming on his chapped lips, before he snaps his jaw shut. She turns her gaze to the ground and continues running. They don't speak for the next few minutes. The thud-thud-thud of their shoes hitting the ground fills up the holes in their conversation and Lucy tries not to cringe when she hears the sound of a branch cracking underneath her shoe. The distinctive 'crunch' of the branches breaking under her feet doesn't seem to stop and suddenly she's not in the forest, she's on the battle field and nonononono _noherarmisgonegonegoneandNatsu'sgoneandtheblood-_

_'LUCY!'_

She snaps back to reality. She blinks and realizes that she's sitting on something - no, someone. Her hands are wrapping around something. It feels...wrong. She looks down and flings herself away from Gildarts, burying her face in her arms when she realizes that she's done it again. She hurt him. She tried to  _strangle_  him. The man who helped her. The man who understood her like no one else did.  _She hurt him._

She hears him plop onto the ground next to her and she flinches, instinctively moving away because she's a  _monster_. Not Natsu. Not E.N.D. Not even Zeref. She's the real monster.  _Her_. Lucy Heartfilia. And she  _hates_  how everyone seems to forget that she's not their perfect, untainted fairy anymore.

She doesn't cry because her tears have all dried up - bottled up and hidden away carefully so that she wouldn't show any weakness anymore - but that doesn't stop her from dry sobbing. She feels bile rising from the pits of her stomach and she pushes it back down.  _She can't be weak_. She  _needs_  to be strong; she  _needs_  to show Gildarts that she _can_  be strong.

She doesn't realize that he's started talking.

'-orphan. My pop was an asshole and my ma didn't love me. I was an accident, they said. I wasn't worth spending cigarette money to feed, they said.' Lucy doesn't lift her face from her hands but she doesn't shift away when the S-Class mage moved closer to her.

She doesn't see the way his jaw is clenched or how his eyes burn with something deeper and more profound than sadness.

Gildarts continues, his voice tight with emotion, 'Anyway, they sent me to some shitty orphanage. I was five at the time but I wasn't surprised 'cause I kinda saw it coming.' He lets out a dry laugh that causes Lucy to raise her head and look at him. He's looking at the ground now and his next sentence comes out weaker, more vulnerable than before. 'What five-year-old expects to be thrown away?'

Gildarts breathes shakily and turns to look at her with a forced smile on his face. Lucy does not miss how his hands curl into fists nor does she miss the way his eyes are shining with unshed tears. It hits her suddenly that he is baring his darkest memories to her, just to comfort her even though  _he_  was the victim, and yet she is doing  _nothing_.  _Like always._

Well, that's going to change.

'My father used to tell me to shut up when he was listening to the news.' Gildarts looks at her in surprise. Her voice is soft and hesitant whenever she talks about her time in the Konzern. She hates how she sounds - it is as though she's still an heiress, all prim and proper and soft voices and coy smiles.

She pauses a while before continuing, 'There was one time when it was Mama's death anniversary and I didn't want to be alone. So I went to his office. I knocked on his door and when he didn't answer, I pushed the door open. He was listening to the news. They were talking about some dead guy who used to borrow money from my father. His back was facing me so I went to tug on his sleeve.'

Gildarts frowns when he notices the small smile on Lucy face. He reaches out to clasp her left hand in his. She smiles gratefully at him and squeezes his hand in return. 'Anyway, he got angry and he screamed at me to go back to my room. I told him that it was Mama's anniversary and we should go visit her grave and give her carnations because they were her favorite. He yelled at me to shut up because he couldn't listen to the news if I was being such a noisy brat.'

Lucy's breath hitches and she chuckles humorlessly. Gildarts squeezes her hand gently and she tries to just  _breathe_. 'At the time, I thought that if Daddy paid more attention to a dead man than he did to me...then maybe if I died, he would listen to me too.'

'Well, guess that makes two of us, huh?' Gildarts says, his face turned upward and his eyes closed. Lucy smiles, a genuine one this time. 'Yeah, two cripples from dysfunctional families and more PTSD-issues than an entire army,' she jokes.

Gildarts barks out a laugh and soon it becomes a full-blown guffaw. Lucy joins him and they don't stop laughing until an entire five minutes later.

After they finish their laughing fit, Gildarts stands up and offers Lucy his hand. She grins at him before jumping up and darting forward, the wind whipping at her hair as she sprints back to their base. 'Last one back cooks dinner!' she calls out, hearing a betrayed yell from the ginger-haired mage before she hears him chasing after her.

Lucy laughs.

_(Lucy learns that maybe she's not the only one finding it hard to speak. Maybe even the strongest people lose their voices sometimes. Maybe she's not the only one who's weak. Maybe she's strong. Maybe she's good enough. Maybe she's not broken, after all._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Or maybe all of them are already broken. Maybe they're just trying to fix each other again. And when they do...maybe they'll learn to love again.)_

* * *

_(22 hours ago)_

Natsu watches with a fond smile as Keid rushes forward to hug Lisanna. The little boy hands her the small bouquet of pink and yellow carnations that they had bought in the flower shop near the guild, a small blush forming on his round cheeks. Lisanna's eyes widen in surprise and she turns her head away. Keid looks baffled for a second before Elfman comes over and gently removes the bouquet from the boy's hands. The older Strauss sibling says something to Keid before he nods vigorously and dashes over to tug at Lisanna's hand. Natsu's eyebrows knit together in confusion before he smiles at the sight of his son babbling happily to the silver-haired mage about their day as they head over to the quieter side of the guild.

He diverts his gaze to the guild, taking in the familiar sight of polished wood tables, and breathing in the smell of fresh food being prepared in the kitchen. The dragon slayer turns to give Lisanna a small wave before heading towards the bar for some breakfast. The moment his back was turned, his shoulders slumped visibly.

He trudges to the bar and plops himself on the bar stool, sighing heavily. Mira appears almost instantly, a bright grin fixated on her face.

'The usual, Natsu?' she asks, even though there truly is no need for her to do so. He's been going to the guild for breakfast almost everyday after... After  _what_? It must have been something important if it had changed his daily routine of eating breakfast with someone before going to the guild. Natsu frowns a bit, before quickly replying Mira with a nod and a forced grin. He hopes the barmaid doesn't catch on his confusion, but judging by the way she smiles and swiftly moves into the kitchen to prepare his food, nothing is amiss to her.  _Yet._

He leans on one elbow and closes his eyes. It's happening again.

The Remembering.

Or the Forgetting, depending on how you view it.

Natsu hates it. Because it means that his brain's gonna start hurting and he's gonna start waking up and feeling his heart clench clench  _clench_  every time he reaches for the other side of the bed and it's  _empty_. Because it's not meant to be empty. And it hurts that he can't remember why it's not. It hurts even more when he looks at Keid and Lisanna and feels as if it's  _wrong._

Gold _,_ his mind whispers, not silver.

_'Which one do you think she'll like, buddy?'_

_'The gold one, Natsu, what else? Her hair's gold...well, sort of. But I swear it looks more like wilted-sunflower-yellow!'_

_'...I don't think 'wilted-sunflower-yellow' is a colour, Happy,'_

_'Hmph! Not everyone cares what you think, Natsu. All you ever think about nowadays is L- '_

Natsu forces himself to look away from his two favourite people in the world. His heart does that awful clenching thing again and his stomach starts to do flips. Natsu hates it.

He hates it a lot.

He had tried to tell people about the Remembering. But nobody understands.

_Nothing is wrong_ , they tell him whenever he voices out his concerns.

But whenever Levy tells him that, he can detect the faint smell of salt in the air the moment he leaves; whenever Erza tells him that, he can see the forced smile she wears and he knows that she's lying because Erza doesn't smile like that. She  _doesn't_.

And Gray...whenever he tells Gray about his Remembering, the ice mage will stiffen, tell Natsu that he's an 'fuck-up who doesn't deserve remembering anything' before storming off. His wife, Juvia, would stare at Natsu with thinly-veiled displeasure before shooting him a cold, apologetic smile (How it could be both cold and apologetic at the same time amazes Natsu. Truly, it does.), before leaving to find Gray.

He smacks his head on the wooden table and groans. He's thinking too much again. His stomach grumbles and he thinks that it is way too early to start Remembering. He stays in that position for a while before hearing Mira return with his food. He perks up almost instantly and dives into his food, sending Mira a half-hearted thumbs up as he shovels his food into his mouth.

'Natsu.'

He turns around and greets Lisanna with a smile. 'Hey, Lis, what did you do with my kid? Finally sick of my beautiful son and decided to bury him while my back is turned? Oh, how you wound me!' He clutches his chest with one arm dramatically, his face contorted with mock betrayal.

Lisanna rolls her pretty, sea-blue eyes, a fond smile on her face as she replies, 'I hope you're properly wounded, because Keid really didn't like how you told him he was fat again.' She shoots him a glare and crosses her arms.

Natsu groans, 'Aw, c'mon, Lis! I was joking! He always gets all riled up like you do whenever Happy calls you fat.' Lisanna looks surprised for a moment, but the dragon slayer doesn't notice. 'And stop giving me that...that  _judgey_  teacher look! You always do that whenever I break into your place and it's really getting old.' He remarks. Ugh, how he  _hates_  that look.

Every time she wakes up on those days that he sleeps over (which is more often than not) and realizes their somewhat intimate position...BAM! He's out of the bed and halfway across the room while she starts screeching about personal space. And then once she calms down, the infamous 'judgey teacher' look is plastered all over her face and he's always, _always_  struck by how beautiful she is and how much he lov -

'Natsu, are you listening to me?'

And suddenly, he's transported back to the guild and Lisanna has her hand on his cheek. A part of him thinks that her hand is too soft and too cold, and Natsu abruptly flinches away from her touch.

He sees the look on her face, the clear pain in her blue eyes and he knows that he screwed up. 'Lisanna, I'm so sor -'

'Don't,' she cuts him off harshly. 'Natsu, just don't.'

He lowers his head.

She sighs.

'Look, Natsu, I know you hate Remembering, but I need you to remember this,' Lisanna says softly, her hand cups his jaw gently before tilting it upwards, so that he can meet her eyes. She feels his jaw tighten and sees the way his eyes cloud over momentarily with fear and pain. She sighs and is about to move away when he nods.

'Let's just get it over with. Like tearing off a Band-Aid, right?' he says.

'Like tearing off a Band-Aid,' she reaffirms. They look at one another for what felt like an eternity before she finally remembers to breathe.

'Natsu,' she begins. 'I'm allergic to carnations.'

Natsu blinks and he gapes at her.

'What does this have to do with my Remembering?'

Lisanna groans, 'Natsu! You told Keid that my favourite flowers are carnations and that today was our 'special day' or something!'

Natsu looks more lost than his first (and last) time in the guild library.

'Uh, so?'

The silver-haired mage sighs. 'Natsu, I am allergic to carnations and our anniversary is still five weeks away, doesn't that mean something to you?' He shrugs. 'And what's with the 'he's just like you when Happy calls you fat'? Remember how  _Happy_  was the one who kept reminding me to eat because I was way underweight while we were still kids? Why would he - of all people - call me fat?'

She sees a flicker of recognition flash across his face, but she doesn't stop.

'And you've never broken into my house before and - '

'I've never raided your fridge, have I? And we never did sleep together at your place, have we? And all those times when you screeched at me about personal space and everything...' he pauses, and the look on his face breaks her heart. '...that wasn't you, was it?'

She wants to lie so badly. She wants to tell him that 'yes, it was her'; she wants to pull him close and tell him that 'yes, she was the one who loved carnations and hated being called fat and had the chance of being in his arms while they slept'; she wants so badly for him to stop Remembering.

Instead, she smiles at him and shakes her head 'no'. He doesn't smile back. She tries not to let her smile falter. But she's not sure she succeeds.

She watches as Keid suddenly appears out of nowhere and starts dragging Natsu to play with him and Elfman's triplets.

She watches him go and wishes she could  _let_  him go just as easily.

_(After all, he never did smile at Lisanna the way he smiled at Lucy, not even after the Forgetting began._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Because even though his mind forgets, his heart remembers. And his heart remembers loving a blonde mage who left him with a bleeding heart and a shattered mind.)_

* * *

_(3 years ago)_

'DAMN IT!'

'Lucy, it's fine to lose control -'

'No, it isn't! It's been the thirtieth time I 'lost control' and I'm sick of this fucking bullshit!'

'Princess...'

'I couldn't even land a proper hit on him with Celestial Magic! It has been almost two years, Virgo! Two fucking years wasted!'

'Please, Princess, it takes time to master this. Brother and I urge you to be more patient.'

'Of course you and Loke wouldn't understand, you're immortal! You have all the time in the world! No one's waiting for  _you_  to go home!'

'...'

' _Oh_ ,  _Virgo_. I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to- but I can't... _I can't do this anymore,_  knowing that my family is still out there waiting for me to go back and I'm here, two years gone with zero progress. I'm sorry I lashed out on you, I know you and Loke only want the best for me but I'm  _so, so sick_  of being patient. I still...I still  _need_  them. And it  _kills_  me to know that I've left them for so long for absolutely  _nothing_.'

'Princess, I see that I have made you upset.'

'No, Virgo. It wasn't your fault. It's me. I'm sorry.'

'Punishment time, Princess? It would be mutually beneficial as it is stated in 'Punishment for Pleasure' Chapter Fifty-Two, Page Two-Hundred and Sixteen that punishment helps relieve emotional stress for both parties involved-'

'No, Virgo. No punishment...but thank you. For everything.'

'My pleasure, Princess. Are you sure you would not prefer Punishment #32? It is extremely pleasing-'

'No, Virgo. Thank you, but no. And please, do me a favour.'

'Yes, Princess?'

'Burn that book.'

* * *

_(19 hours ago)_

'Mira, who's Aquarius?'

The said mage freezes and her hand trembles so much that Natsu has to take the glass she was polishing away from her. Normally, he wouldn't sit at the bar, since Keid would always turn into blushing mess whenever Asuka - now a breath-taking, sassy teenager - came to help Mira with bar-tending. But today was a special case. He'd even sent Keid to play with Gajeel's kid (who is  _the_  worst influence on his son, I mean, who would  _willingly_  go near a non-picture book and  _read_  it in their spare time? It made Natsu shudder just to think about it.) after they finished playing with Elfman and Evergreen's kids.

He waits for Mira to answer. She turns to face Natsu fully and tries for a laugh.

'You don't know, Natsu? Why, I'm an Aquarius and so is Levy and -'

Natsu groans. 'No, Mira. Not the horoscope.'

Mira's smile falters a bit before she replies curtly, 'Well, then you must be referring to the constellation then. I don't see any other -'

'Celestial Spirit.'

Both mages swivel around to look at the person who spoke. Natsu brightens and greets Cobra with a friendly wave while Mira's gaze turns threateningly cold.

'Hello, Cobra. The usual, I assume?' she grits out, a tight smile still carefully plastered on her face. The maroon-haired slayer nods and makes a 'shooing' motion with his hand to the barmaid.

Natsu downs his fire whiskey and asks again, 'So, what were you saying about Aquarius?'

Cobra shoots him a sideways glance and shuts his violet eye with a sigh. 'She's the Water Bearer of the Celestial Planes - some just call her The Mermaid - and she was a Golden Celestial Gate Key.'

Natsu hums in response and hesitates. He opens his mouth, a question forming on the tip of his tongue before he snaps his jaw shut.  _She **was**  a Gate Key?_

But Cobra had already heard the question the fire dragon-slayer left unspoken. His eye burns with a hidden pain that Natsu has never seen on the usually sarcastic and aloof man.

'She was. No longer now.'

'Why?' If it were any other ordinary conversation, Natsu would have been disinterested, since it had nothing to do with dragons nor slaying nor any of the sort. But this...this was something he felt that he should know...something that he should have known a long time ago. It was connected to something, someone...Natsu wasn't sure what, but this _Aquarius_  was definitely connected with someone from his past.

Cobra stands up abruptly and says, 'You should know. You were the reason  _she_  sacrificed her, after all.' He spares Natsu one last look before continuing, 'Don't try too hard to remember. It wouldn't do you any good anyway. Oh, and tell the Demon to bring my food over to me at my usual spot.'

'Cobra, wait! Who's 'she'?' he calls out and maybe Cobra can hear the desperation in his voice because he stops and whispers a name before walking away.

_Lucy._

Natsu savours the way the name rolls off his tongue, hoping that the name would trigger his Remembering and maybe put a face to all the memories that start resurfacing.

He waits.

And says her name under his breath.

_Lucy._

Again.

_Lucy._

And again.

_Lucy._

And again.

_Lucy._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_('Welcome to Fairy Tail!'_

_'Woah, this place is huge!'_

_'What are you waiting for, weirdo? Don't just stand there!'_

_'Wait, can I really go in?'_

_'Duh, you really are a weirdo, L-')_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_He shakes his head._

_It's the wrong name._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : Please prepare tissues and chocolate before reading this fic. May contain tiny hints of angstiness and slight traces of hurt/comfort crap.
> 
> Oops, placed that at the wrong end. Oh, well. So, how did you guys like it? Please leave a review to let me know! I apologize if there are mistakes in terms of grammar and facts. The fact that Mira and Levy are Aquarius' is completely made up and I'm sincerely sorry if I've offended anyone with my inaccurate descriptions of PTSD (Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder) and amnesia. Once again, thanks for the support! :)
> 
> (For those who are curious about Keid, don't worry, his story is coming very soon. ;) )


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